Well when you are age 19 and looking great, you spend time and money to look good and one of the things a girl can use to looking good is a Toning system to keep your muscles in shape and belly tight.

I was on our bed and had my 8 pads from my system strapped to my thighs and belly and just finishing my 30 minute session when Mark came up stairs and said he’s going to shower and will be back in a few minutes.

Our bedroom was lit by the dim glow of the TV in the corner, and i was removing my pads and placing them on Marks side of the bed, As I leaned over to unplug the system from the mains supply Mark came in and sat on the bed. Well you never heard a guy scream so loud in your life, and i turned to see what was up and Mark had jumped up from the bed, but was waving his arms about to try and get his balance, and failed so plopped his ass back on the bed, to yet another almighty scream and this time he managed to jump up to his feet and turn around to look at the bed.

I looked at him and said, “whats up baby?” to which he replied “you stupid bitch, what the fuck are you trying to do? fucking kill me?” I just looked at him a little bemused and then he said “I just sat on them fuckin pads and got my balls and ass fried, not once but twice, what the fuck was going through your mind when you left them turned on for me to sit on?”

I just replied with “you said you was going to go shower, i didn’t expect you to come sit on them 20 seconds after you left to go shower numb nuts” ever since then, “numb nuts” has been my favorite name to call stupid men.

Mark was to loose a testicle 2 months later when i kicked him in the balls by accident, but thats another story yet to come. My ass, his balls and 10 firemen, policemen and ambulance men, keep looking back for this story soon.

Boyfriends that do not appreciate what girls do to look good for them

Bitch slapped by Sammie

Every morning our class attendance register was taken, while we all drew a picture of something one of us chose and we would get a gold star in our book if your picture was picked as the best one in class.. Today it was my turn to choose, so i wanted everyone to draw a Squiggle, but the teacher said that thats not really a good thing to draw because they would all look the same.  I told my teacher that i have seen lots of Squiggles and they are not the same because i seen big Squiggles and baby Squiggles and Red ones and gray ones.

After the register she walked up and down the aisle looking at everyones Squiggles to pick out the best one, and she stopped at my desk and asked me why i didn’t draw a Squiggle like i asked everyone to draw.  So i pointed to my Squiggle in the tree and pointed to his pile of acorns and told my teacher that thats my Squiggle there in the tree. She laughed and asked me again, what it is, and i told her it’s a Squiggle with his acorns in his tree.

Well she took the book from the boy behind me and pointed to a page with scribbles on it and said thats a Squiggle, and i said look there are 3 Squiggles in the grass by the tree over there, as i pointed out the window.

Oh you mean Squirrels Sammie, and i said yes i like Squiggles because the hop like my bunny and take nuts out my hand in our garden.  I got a gold star for the best Squiggle because everyone just Scribbled in their books.

For the next 30 minutes she sat by me trying to teach me to say Squirrel, before giving up hope.

Class mates Bitchslapped by sammie

for not knowing what a baby Squiggle is

In november 2004 i had a guy come over to clear my garden and burn all the rubbish and over hanging branches he cut off the tree’s that summer. while gathering all the wood and branches, then building a bonfire ready to burn it all on, i made some lunch and got him a beer. at about 2pm it was time to start the fire and he brought a gallon of petrol with him, to make sure it would burn.

He started the fire with paper but it didn’t really catch alight very well, so he took the top of the petrol and splashed some over the fire and it went whoosh and started to burn the rubbish but didn’t burn for long.

i asked if he wanted another beer and went to fetch one for him, and he was on the other side of the fire poking it about, when he asked me to pass him the petrol can.

When i passed him the petrol can, some of it splashed out on his arm and leg and on the ground too, only about 1/2 a cup full at most. He didn’t seem to mind and then started to splash more petrol on the fire and whoosh it went again, only this time it went whoosh up his leg and then his arm. when he seen it he started running but didn’t throw away the petrol can so was splashing more of it on himself as he ran around the garden screaming.

I screamed out “jump in the fish pond” and pointed to next doors pond, but he didn’t look where i pointed and jumped into my pond, which was a split level pond of 6 foot deep, 4 foot deep and 1 foot deep, only it had been pumped out the day before for cleaning so only had 6 inches of water in it in the deep end, where he jumped in hoping to make a big splash and put out the flames.

poor guy jumped into the 6 foot end, only to find 6 inches of water in it. he broke his ankle and an arm, but was able to roll around in the muddy 6 inches of water to put the flames out.

he never did come to finish my garden after that.

boys playing with fire.

bitchslapped by sammie

I was on holiday in Spain for 3 weeks i was 18 years old and not seen my boyfriend for almost a month and i missed him ever so much. On the flight back i was feeling a little unwell and my belly ached a bit and i was in a white skirt and a white crop top and white trainers with ankle socks and i just wanted to get home to my boyfriend and feel secure in his arms again. Well i got my case and was walking through the airport and i seen him so i shouted Mark and dropped my case and ran to him. My belly ache came back while running to him, but i was ever so happy to see him, i put my arms out and jumped up and wrapped my legs around him, and my g-string wasn’t enough to hold back the stuff that i just dropped down his legs all over his white jeans, this was right in the middle of the arrivals lounge at Manchester airport, 5000 people took 20 steps backwards and just me and him in this huge empty space on our own with everyone looking at me.

well i knew what happened and i ran to the toilets and i was in there for about 20 minutes crying my eyes out and looking at the mess on my skirt, before some lady came in with my case and said i might need this. then she asked if i have something for my boyfriend to wear, as he is in a bit of a mess, and i handed her a skirt and said thats all i have. It was 2 hours later before i came out the toilet. he never let me forget that day. I have never been back to Manchester airport since and i change my travel arrangements if Manchester is the only airport i can use. I’ll never go back there again.

Spain and the food or water.

Bitch slapped by Sammie