Every morning our class attendance register was taken, while we all drew a picture of something one of us chose and we would get a gold star in our book if your picture was picked as the best one in class.. Today it was my turn to choose, so i wanted everyone to draw a Squiggle, but the teacher said that thats not really a good thing to draw because they would all look the same.  I told my teacher that i have seen lots of Squiggles and they are not the same because i seen big Squiggles and baby Squiggles and Red ones and gray ones.

After the register she walked up and down the aisle looking at everyones Squiggles to pick out the best one, and she stopped at my desk and asked me why i didn’t draw a Squiggle like i asked everyone to draw.  So i pointed to my Squiggle in the tree and pointed to his pile of acorns and told my teacher that thats my Squiggle there in the tree. She laughed and asked me again, what it is, and i told her it’s a Squiggle with his acorns in his tree.

Well she took the book from the boy behind me and pointed to a page with scribbles on it and said thats a Squiggle, and i said look there are 3 Squiggles in the grass by the tree over there, as i pointed out the window.

Oh you mean Squirrels Sammie, and i said yes i like Squiggles because the hop like my bunny and take nuts out my hand in our garden.  I got a gold star for the best Squiggle because everyone just Scribbled in their books.

For the next 30 minutes she sat by me trying to teach me to say Squirrel, before giving up hope.

Class mates Bitchslapped by sammie

for not knowing what a baby Squiggle is

In a field we had an old Tin shed that had an old Tractor in it and a few old beds and broken things like washing machines wardrobes and other junk. i was 6 and my brother was 16, ten years older than me. Daddies shotgun was broken and he had spent time fixing it, (Daddy was good at fixing things, he could fix people too. he was always saying “i’m gonna fix him” or “i’ll fix him once and for all”)

I watched Daddy fixing his gun and then we went out to the field to try it, i stood on the path because it was muddy and i don’t like mud squishing between my toes in my sandals. daddy told me to cover my ears because it will make a big bang and i did. Daddy shot the shed and blew a big hole in the side of it with bits flying in the sky.

Well the shed door flew open and my brother fell out with his pants down “daddy tell him to use the potty like everyone else” (potty is what i have always called the Toilet, even today) and his girlfriend came running out with nothing on and she was running across the field and my brother jumped up pulling his pants up and ran after her. Daddy said some naughty words opened the gun and told me to hold it, and said “i’ll fix him” as he started to run after them.

My brother at 16

Bitch slapped by Sammie.

now i know what ya was doing

At about age 7 i was a very brave girl and i could walk to the store to buy my own sweeties, it was only in the village at the end of our driveway and about 50 meters up on the same side, so no real danger. As i was walking to the store i noticed a puppy dog and he was really nice and he liked me because he was licking my face so i told him to be a good puppy dog and he can have some sweeties when i come back.

When i got back to the puppy dog he was ever so pleased to see me he was sitting waiting for me to give him a sweetie, and i was talking to him and sharing my sweeties and we became good friends, so when i was walking home he was trying to follow me, and he was tied up with long rope to the fence so he couldn’t come far and i felt ever so sorry for him being left alone so i undone the rope and we walked home together and i was telling him if he is really nice i’ll ask daddy if we can keep him.

As i reached our front door i was ever so excited i was shouting to daddy to come see the puppy dog i found and asking him if i can keep him, daddy came to the hallway and stooped by the door waiting to see the puppy dog i found, and i was pulling on the Rope (it was about 10 meters long) and daddy was looking at the rope building up at my feet and said where’s the puppy, i said “he’s coming now daddy, he’ll be ever so good and we are best friends and he loves me daddy and i told him he cant sit on the sofa, can i keep him daddy”.

As my puppy dog popped his head round the door, daddy screamed and fell backwards and my puppy dog stood over daddy giving daddy lots of licks, he liked daddy too, and daddy shouted “its a f***ing horse get off me” “Sammie thats not a puppy dog, its a Great Dane and a fully grown adult one” daddy said as he got over the shock, ” dont be silly daddy he’s a puppy dog he says woof woof”

Daddy and I took him back and i never seen him again

owners of dogs that leave them tied up outside.

Bitch slapped by Sammie