The same winter as I tried to write my name in the snow, (age 4) I remember our Minister called for coffee and a chat with mommy about the service that night, so i guess it was new years eve. I was taken up stairs to have a bath by daddy and while sat in the bath playing with my duck, daddy had a wee and I seen his special pen, so I asked in a shy voice, “daddy is that your special pen?”

Turning his back to me daddy said “no Sammie thats my penis”, so i asked him, “daddy when do i get my penis?” He said “Sammie sweetie, girls don’t have one, they have a vagina, and boys have a penis.” Pulling the plug out of the bath, daddy told me to hurry up and get dressed, my dress is on the bed and everyone is waiting, he said.

The next thing i remember was running down the stairs shouting “Daddy Daddy i found it i found it it’s hiding in here” as i burst into the living room with my lips pulled apart and saying “look daddy i found my penis its in here, see daddy”

Well the Minister spat his coffee all over the coffee table and mommy dropped a plate of cakes on the floor and screamed “Samantha” and Daddy jumped out his chair and scooped me up in his hands and carried me running up the stairs while mommy was still shouting, and daddy was saying “good god Samantha what do you think your doing?” “I found my penis daddy see I do have one daddy”.

Daddy made me promise I would never go down stairs without any knickers on again, and told me that I should forget all about my penis until i get older. (penis envy was to hit me from age 15 to 19 and from time to time later in life)

It was winter and i was 4 years old, my brother was 14 and his mates about the same age as him. They kept running away from me telling me that i’m just a silly girl and i can’t do the things boys do, so i can’t play with them and i should go home.

Well not to be out done by what my brother said, i ran to the first tree i could climb up and shouted “look i can do boy things i can climb a tree” Stooping down to pluck me off the 3 foot bush he told me to go home. I was guttered, I walked away with my eye’s filling up and then looked back and they were in the field throwing snowballs and having fun.

I sneaked up to the tree line and watched and they where laughing because my brothers mate was writing his name in the snow, then they all started and i ran up to see, it was funny so i dropped my woolly tights over my boots and I tried to write my name too, and i wee’d down my legs and in my boots.

They all turned and looked at me when i said “i cant do it it wont spell my name, it’s in my boots” then they all burst out laughing and pointing at me, and i turned to run home and fell in the snow with my tights still over my boots, i was crying and telling daddy that they laughed at me when i wanted to write my name in the snow, and it went in my welly boots.

Daddy told me that boys have a special pen to write their names in the snow with and girls don’t have one. Well when i went to bed i got on my knees and i prayed to Santa for a special pen like the boys, and i got 42 colours and 4 colouring books.

my bro and his mates laughing at me

Bitch slapped by Sammie

about age 5, and living on a farm, i remember one summer i was in my summer dress with pretty yellow flowers on it and my frilly socks and sandals with ribbons in my hair. i looked really pretty, (”my little angel” daddy said) i asked daddy if i can watch the cows getting milked because i’ma big girl now, so he said yes but i have to stay next to the wall and not get in the way.
well the cows came in and daddy put some shinny things on the cows that where jumping up and down, but i couldn’t see well from the wall, so i walked behind a cow and lowered my head a little to see what they did and the cow lifted his tail so i can get a better look, “Thank you Mister cow” i said, and then this hot smelly stuff landed on my head and back and pushed me to the floor and i was screaming for daddy to help me and save me.

i never did like cows after that, and even today i’ll not go near a cow.

cows

bitch slapped by Sammie

Little Sammie lived on a farm in Danmark. The whole wide world was waiting to be explored and i had my bottle of juice and 2 packets of sweeties my pink wellington boots with the pretty yellow flowers on them, i was all set to go. I didn’t know at the time, but our farm was 200 acres with 40 cows, 2 bulls, 2 horses, 6 sheep, 3 geese, 2 dogs, (one of the dogs was a silly billy, he kept chasing the sheep and daddy would whistle after him and he wouldn’t come back he would try and hide in the grass when daddy whistled, I told daddy he needs to get a new one because that ones broken, daddy giggled and said he’s a Sheep dog, silly daddy, “sheeps say baa baa, and doggies say woof woof daddy”) 6 hens, 4 cats and about 20 kittens, and our drive was a 1/2 a mile long gravel road. Walking to the start of the drive i seen the puddles and i can make big splashes if i jump with 2 feet. First puddle was a little one and SPLASH as i jumped in it YAY that was a good one, next puddle was a little bigger, SPLASH YAY as i jumped in, and then next one was really big and SPLOOSH as i sank to my knees and then fell ove, “running home crying with my welly boots squishing full of water and my dress all muddy” that was the end on my world exploration, all 50 feet down our potholed drive.

muddy water logged potholes

Bitch slapped by Sammie.