Spring cleaning comes every 2 weeks in my house, and i can not stand anything looking drab or dirty, and especially the kitchen and bathroom. Mark had bought a new Microwave oven from a friend that did everything, it had a grill, oven, a spit roast and it was huge, you could fit a turkey in it.

That month it was summer and we invited friends round for a BBQ and i thought it would be nice to spit roast a chicken in our new microwave to give it a test run. Well after the chicken was cooked, i looked in the microwave and now i knew why they call it a spit roast, it spits fat everywhere, on the roof and walls and in that grill thingy where the light is, the inside of the microwave was a mess and i had to clean it.

The next day i woke and i had the microwave on my list of jobs to do, and i sprayed Mr muscle in and wiped it down, but where the light was behind all them little holes, i could see fat in the holes and no matter how much i wiped, the fat was still in the holes. Not to be out done, i got cotton buds, (ear cleaners) and a spray with bleach and added 50% water to it so i can clean each hole 1 by 1.

Armed with my spray and cotton buds i opened the microwave door and the light came on, not being blonde i knew i cant spray in there with the light on or I’ll get an electric shock, so i pulled the plug out the mains and the light went off, and i went to work cleaning each hole 1 by 1, squirt squirt, poke hole 1, squirt squirt, poke hole 2, squirt squirt, poke hole 3, and so on till i did about 100 holes and ran out of bleach and cotton buds, but it was all clean. and spotless.

Mark came home and offered to cook dinner, i said I’ll just have a microwave dinner as the kitchen is clean and he would only mess it up. Sat at the pc, everything went off all of a sudden, the pc, the desk lamp, and tv, poof all off and a BANG in the kitchen, I ran out to see smoke coming from the microwave and Mark across the kitchen sat on top of the dishwasher looking dazed and confused, and soot around the mains socket on the wall by the microwave.

I asked him what happened and he said he don’t know, all he did was plug the microwave in and bang it threw him across the kitchen. realizing that the bleach and water might have something to do with it, i said to Mark, “thats what you get when you buy dodgy stuff from your mates, just think that could have happened to me while no-one was home, and i might be dead now. ”

Mark told his mate and his mate came over a week later with a brand new microwave and dishwasher (as ours didn’t work after Mark landed on it) and he said he was every so sorry and gave me some flowers too.

i never washed the microwave with water and bleach again.

Microwave designers

bitch slapped by Sammie, for the little holes you cant clean