The same winter as I tried to write my name in the snow, (age 4) I remember our Minister called for coffee and a chat with mommy about the service that night, so i guess it was new years eve. I was taken up stairs to have a bath by daddy and while sat in the bath playing with my duck, daddy had a wee and I seen his special pen, so I asked in a shy voice, “daddy is that your special pen?”

Turning his back to me daddy said “no Sammie thats my penis”, so i asked him, “daddy when do i get my penis?” He said “Sammie sweetie, girls don’t have one, they have a vagina, and boys have a penis.” Pulling the plug out of the bath, daddy told me to hurry up and get dressed, my dress is on the bed and everyone is waiting, he said.

The next thing i remember was running down the stairs shouting “Daddy Daddy i found it i found it it’s hiding in here” as i burst into the living room with my lips pulled apart and saying “look daddy i found my penis its in here, see daddy”

Well the Minister spat his coffee all over the coffee table and mommy dropped a plate of cakes on the floor and screamed “Samantha” and Daddy jumped out his chair and scooped me up in his hands and carried me running up the stairs while mommy was still shouting, and daddy was saying “good god Samantha what do you think your doing?” “I found my penis daddy see I do have one daddy”.

Daddy made me promise I would never go down stairs without any knickers on again, and told me that I should forget all about my penis until i get older. (penis envy was to hit me from age 15 to 19 and from time to time later in life)