It was winter and i was 4 years old, my brother was 14 and his mates about the same age as him. They kept running away from me telling me that i’m just a silly girl and i can’t do the things boys do, so i can’t play with them and i should go home.

Well not to be out done by what my brother said, i ran to the first tree i could climb up and shouted “look i can do boy things i can climb a tree” Stooping down to pluck me off the 3 foot bush he told me to go home. I was guttered, I walked away with my eye’s filling up and then looked back and they were in the field throwing snowballs and having fun.

I sneaked up to the tree line and watched and they where laughing because my brothers mate was writing his name in the snow, then they all started and i ran up to see, it was funny so i dropped my woolly tights over my boots and I tried to write my name too, and i wee’d down my legs and in my boots.

They all turned and looked at me when i said “i cant do it it wont spell my name, it’s in my boots” then they all burst out laughing and pointing at me, and i turned to run home and fell in the snow with my tights still over my boots, i was crying and telling daddy that they laughed at me when i wanted to write my name in the snow, and it went in my welly boots.

Daddy told me that boys have a special pen to write their names in the snow with and girls don’t have one. Well when i went to bed i got on my knees and i prayed to Santa for a special pen like the boys, and i got 42 colours and 4 colouring books.

my bro and his mates laughing at me

Bitch slapped by Sammie

Driving home late one night i was about a mile from home and just comeing over the crest of a hill, when i seen a bunny rabbit sat in the road looking at me, i looked at the 18 wheelers coming up the hill and slammed on my brakes and headed for the bushes on my side, thats gotta be a better choice than hitting a wagon right?

well i hit the bushes and the car bounced off and spun round and went backwards under the trailer of the 2nd 18 wheeler. Fighting my way out of the car with blown airbags all around me, i see the mayhem as i watch this little baby bunny hop past me and into a garden, who’s bushes where hiding a stone wall i just smashed into.

my poor Volvo 760 was a total loss.  Bunny 1 Sammie 0

people who hide brick walls behind bushes.

Bitch slapped by Sammie

In a field we had an old Tin shed that had an old Tractor in it and a few old beds and broken things like washing machines wardrobes and other junk. i was 6 and my brother was 16, ten years older than me. Daddies shotgun was broken and he had spent time fixing it, (Daddy was good at fixing things, he could fix people too. he was always saying “i’m gonna fix him” or “i’ll fix him once and for all”)

I watched Daddy fixing his gun and then we went out to the field to try it, i stood on the path because it was muddy and i don’t like mud squishing between my toes in my sandals. daddy told me to cover my ears because it will make a big bang and i did. Daddy shot the shed and blew a big hole in the side of it with bits flying in the sky.

Well the shed door flew open and my brother fell out with his pants down “daddy tell him to use the potty like everyone else” (potty is what i have always called the Toilet, even today) and his girlfriend came running out with nothing on and she was running across the field and my brother jumped up pulling his pants up and ran after her. Daddy said some naughty words opened the gun and told me to hold it, and said “i’ll fix him” as he started to run after them.

My brother at 16

Bitch slapped by Sammie.

now i know what ya was doing

At about age 7 i was a very brave girl and i could walk to the store to buy my own sweeties, it was only in the village at the end of our driveway and about 50 meters up on the same side, so no real danger. As i was walking to the store i noticed a puppy dog and he was really nice and he liked me because he was licking my face so i told him to be a good puppy dog and he can have some sweeties when i come back.

When i got back to the puppy dog he was ever so pleased to see me he was sitting waiting for me to give him a sweetie, and i was talking to him and sharing my sweeties and we became good friends, so when i was walking home he was trying to follow me, and he was tied up with long rope to the fence so he couldn’t come far and i felt ever so sorry for him being left alone so i undone the rope and we walked home together and i was telling him if he is really nice i’ll ask daddy if we can keep him.

As i reached our front door i was ever so excited i was shouting to daddy to come see the puppy dog i found and asking him if i can keep him, daddy came to the hallway and stooped by the door waiting to see the puppy dog i found, and i was pulling on the Rope (it was about 10 meters long) and daddy was looking at the rope building up at my feet and said where’s the puppy, i said “he’s coming now daddy, he’ll be ever so good and we are best friends and he loves me daddy and i told him he cant sit on the sofa, can i keep him daddy”.

As my puppy dog popped his head round the door, daddy screamed and fell backwards and my puppy dog stood over daddy giving daddy lots of licks, he liked daddy too, and daddy shouted “its a f***ing horse get off me” “Sammie thats not a puppy dog, its a Great Dane and a fully grown adult one” daddy said as he got over the shock, ” dont be silly daddy he’s a puppy dog he says woof woof”

Daddy and I took him back and i never seen him again

owners of dogs that leave them tied up outside.

Bitch slapped by Sammie